Does there come a time in life when you have literally given all you’ve got? Honestly I knew this day would come eventually. A person simply cannot give everything they have (plus some) for this many years and not eventually have to stop. I am at the point where I have to stop. There just is no more to give. I wake up totally exhausted. I go through each and every day totally exhausted. I go to sleep totally exhausted and I wake up and do it all over again.
I don’t think the Lord meant it to be this way.
So…with His help and guidance I am finally saying, “NO MORE!” It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life – and I’ve had a lot of hard things in my life. But NOT DOING is hard! But I feel if I don’t “not do” I am going to totally lose what LITTLE I have left.
I am focusing on the Lord and His plan for me. I am not looking at anyone else…because others TAKE. The Lord gives. And right now, I have nothing left to give for those who only take.
I am praying that by slowing down and seriously considering EACH AND EVERY decision, that the Lord will be able to help guide in which way I should go. This too is hard as I am the “load, shoot, aim” kind of person…if I miss the first time, I just re-aim. Now the Lord is saying…AIM FIRST as your time and what you have left to give are very precious.
I am tired of trying to “be everything for everyone” and getting nothing in return. I am tired of working my butt off for basically nothing. It is time for me to STOP and allow the Lord to change me and my life; which I have already started a little under two months ago…and it is HARD! But I pray I will see and feel relief eventually. I haven’t yet, at least not to a great degree, but I have in a small degree and I know that feels good.
I am praying that soon I will feel rejuvenated again. That I will wake in the mornings excited for the day. That I will not feel exhausted constantly and that I will have energy for my family and my life. I know these are the things the Lord wants for me, my life and my family and I am confident (or at least prayerful) I will make it there some day. *IF* I continue to walk in this difficult path I am currently on of THINKING OF MYSELF. There I said it. HARD for me to do and to say. I feel selfish. But I know deep down that if I do not do this…there will be nothing left of me to give to anyone as it is almost gone already.
I am assuming a lot of women feel this way at one point or another in their lives and I assume that once we get our priorities back in order that my love for life will return.
Have you ever felt this way? What did you do? Have you overcome? If so, how long did it take?
Have a wonderfully blessed day!