Does one ever TRULY overcome their past completely? I keep thinking it is possible and then I will turn around get smacked upside the head with mine –
I am so tired of feeling this way. Of feeling misunderstood and judged. I AM TRYING, don’t people understand that?
I GUESS NOT.
Is it Satan talking? Is he trying to drag me down?
Will I go with him? Will I listen to him? Or will I LOOK UP and follow the Lord.
The One who wants to remind me that I AM making progress and that I AM His
NO MATTER WHAT.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
The problem. Looking at people instead of God.
I guess it is easier for us as sinners to look at others and judge them – they say this makes us feel better about ourselves and our own behavior. However, doing that doesn’t make me feel better, it makes me feel even more like a sinner. But for some reason, that’s what I want to do to those I feel are judging me.
I WANT TO GIVE IT RIGHT BACK.
But yet I don’t. Yet another struggle within my heart. Who will win? Satan or God?
“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” Matthew 5:39
I get tired. I get weary. But I walk on, daily.
“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9
I need to keep my eyes on Jesus.
What do I *want* to do? Run, far and fast.
What *will* I do? Stay, and pray.
“Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Mark 14:38
I don’t understand how or why I continually end up where I find myself right now…doubting myself, HATING myself. But bigger than that, better than that – KNOWING THE LORD JESUS CHRIST LOVES ME – JUST THE WAY I AM.
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Struggling, fighting – within myself – the good, the bad, the ugly –
I cannot thank Him enough for saving me. For bringing me up out of the pit I lived in for so many years. And although I still struggle…He holds me tight. He loves me through it. He reminds me I am ok – IN HIM.