I like to think that I trust in the Lord and that I am one who stands strong in His promises. However, I realize now what has happened over the last several months and needless to say – I’m not too happy with what I see. When push came to shove, I caved (sort of). Although I knew the Lord would provide and would take care of us, I wasted time on things – trying to “do my part” (which has always been a big thing to me…I do my part and He will do His part).
This time, He did it all – in His time…which means what I did was wasted time…
Had I literally “rested in Him” it would have been time better spent. Time not wasted trying to “do my part”. As it turns out – He didn’t need my help (imagine that! *grin*). I feel very disappointed in myself. I feel like I have wasted a lot of time over the last three months – time that could have been spent with the boys.
I guess too that I would like to encourage others – to remember that even though everything YOU do may end differently than you had hoped..be confident that the Lord is working “His good and perfect will” in your life. And that even when things seem like they will / can never get better – ONE thing can change everything in an instant. Then things that looked bad (or didn’t turn out like you had hoped) – can actually be seen as a blessing from Him.
So as to make this a learning experience, and not just wasted time…here are some things I learned: I learned even more about being frugal…about eating every little crumb, eating something that at one time wasn’t “just perfect”, reusing plastic bags that could hold the same item…things like that. As well as learning to spend money more wisely (I’ve been learning this over the last several years…this was just a tightening of that).
I also experienced some really weird “feelings” during this time…mixed feelings…feelings I couldn’t “finish”. Due to our situation, I felt I had to do something to help make things better…but I didn’t really want to do it. So, on one hand I would feel badly because something didn’t turn out “right” but on the other hand I was happy. Weird situation to be in.
So, what I pray I remember…next time…REST IN THE LORD!
Have a wonderfully blessed day!