Food Addiction ~ Really?

Photobucket

Food Addiction: I’ve had this topic put before me a couple times over the last couple of months and have been pondering it more and more as I participate in things like Kick-Start Fitness team and Management Monday. I’ve gained about 40 pounds in the last year and could use to lose about 60, which is the heaviest I’ve ever been. There are a few factors that add to this – my age (41) and the start of menopause, not to mention being a SAHM now (which means less “getting up and going” every day). However, I think there is more to it – MUCH MORE.

I would have to say I have NEVER thought of anything like “Food Addiction” until a couple months ago when the topic came up in a Facebook group I’m a part of…what an eye-opener that statement was for me! Although I’ve never had “food addiction” in the past I have had an eating disorder. Many years ago I suffered from bulimia (binge and purge – as I’ve NEVER been one NOT to eat *grin*) but I haven’t “participated” in that “problem” for many years now. So, food issues are not necessarily new to me. Nor is addiction…as I have overcome some serious things already in my life.

With the changes going on in my life, I think I have started to focus, even more, on food being my comfort. I have several issues with this – the first being that I want the Lord Jesus Christ to be my comfort – the thing I run to first, not food. Next, I don’t want to teach this to my children. Lastly, the way I feel about myself / the way I look. Now, “the way I feel about myself” is a whole nother discussion as that has been a problem for a very long time. It has improved GREATLY since being saved in 2000 but there are still many issues living there.

I think being a mostly SAHM is a HUGE part of what I’m trying to “deal with” (by eating) – for many reasons. This topic covers SO MANY different areas: not working, how I am seen by others – and myself, challenges of my personality, the way I was raised, being a Christian, and on and on and on. Additionally, being the mother of an EXTREMELY active child who never eats nor sleeps has caused me an abundant amount of stress. He is a HUGE CHALLENGE for me; and not sleeping – well, it just doesn’t work very well (but what choice do we have?).

So let’s talk about these challenges:

I was raised to take care of myself, to do my part, to never depend on anyone, so on etc. – so being a SAHM…um, yea. Ouch. I was also raised to “hate men” and to NEVER depend on them – so being a SAHM…um, yea. I was raised to never be a child, to never play and enjoy life, to think only of myself – so being a SAHM…um, yea. (Are we seeing a pattern here, yup, I think so.) [Wow, this post is getting hard!]

Ok, so with all these ways I was raised – now being mixed with the desire to be a committed Christian woman – Ouch! Can you say…bring on the chocolate?!?!?!?! hee hee Ok, so really, as I try my best to learn this new way of life – and deal with a child that is VERY DEMANDING of my patience (oh, did I mention I am not a very patient person?)…the Lord is growing me second by second…as I am putting more and more chocolate (and other unhealthy junk) in my mind body. Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE MY SON SO MUCH – he is an INCREDIBLE child! He has SO MUCH personality! He is so smart and so adorably cute. But he is such a challenge…he goes SO FAST all the time…he trips over nothing (he gets this from me by the way) all the time, runs in to things constantly, drops things regularly (either breaking something or spilling something), he climbs on things, moves things, he is CONSTANT MOVEMENT AND NOISE. He never stops talking, or asking questions, or wanting something. Shall I continue? Oh, and did I mention – he rarely sleeps? And yes…he’s been this way since birth. OUCH! I love him SO MUCH but he pushes every single button I was raised against. So what do I do? EAT.

Photobucket

Marriage…let’s talk about this one for a moment, shall we? Again, I was raised to hate me – NEVER to respect them. {shudder at the thought!} Yet, what does the Bible say? Exactly the opposite. I am to love him, respect him, help him. Ugh! Does it never stop? *grin* I love being this kind of woman, really I do…but it grates every nerve against what I was raised to believe in for SO MANY YEARS! And, even though I know what I’m doing now is RIGHT…it feels wrong. (I’m not sure if anyone can understand that or not.) So what do I do? EAT.

Ok…I need to stop for now…too much going on within my brain…I will return to talk about this again…for now – I have started investigating different Christian books, etc on food addiction as I have a problem that needs to be addressed. I would covet your prayers.

Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Advertisements

Tagged: ,

4 thoughts on “Food Addiction ~ Really?

  1. Shannon December 22, 2011 at 9:16 am Reply

    Dawn,
    That must have been hard to write. Confession time usually is. But when you take your problems out and look at them and stop lying to yourself of hiding the truth – then you will start to get better. I am not saying you have a food addiction, I think you have a emotional need that somehow is causing you to try to feed it with food instead of what it needs… but I also think it’s good to be honest with ourselves about the condition we are in.
    I’m an emotional drinker – NO, not the kind you are thinking of, I drink tea… but I drink too much of it when I’m stressed about stuff. I literally had to just say “no” and stop drinking caffeinated tea altogether – it was making me wired, angry, tense, more stressed, and generally not a Good Mommy. Not to mention it was “connected” in my brain to cookies… or baked things. So that’s what I ended up EATING when I was stressed. AND of course that meant my pants kept shrinking *grin* In the end though, it did relate back to tea. Without the tea, I’m not really tempted to eat the baked stuff. Weird eh?
    I’m proud of you for facing yourself and being honest. You’re an inspiration. I will pray for your journey.
    (((hug)))
    And btw, if it’s any consolation, when I started my journey, I had about 100 lbs to lose. I’m ALMOST half way there… It can be done!

    Like

  2. Jean December 23, 2011 at 12:49 am Reply

    I have the same issue as you with a minor food addiction. I just try to focus on the fact that we can do all things through Christ Jesus. It’s hard sometimes to not eat something I’ve been thinking about and craving all day but we can do it!! It’s hard to write about personal things you’re going through but I applaud you for doing it. The most important step is admitting there is a problem and everything else is downhill. Good luck to you!!

    http://www.whatjeanlikes.com

    Like

  3. Angie Wright December 23, 2011 at 10:17 am Reply

    What a beautiful vulnerable post. Blessings to you sharing! I think the hardest part of homeschooling has been for my mind. It sounds like our moms must have been cousins or such. Feeling OK to do what your heart and the Word is telling you to do, when your brain, memories and patterns war against. . . difficult. I hear your heart – both in this post and of those these past year. I have seen joy and growth and transparency in your sharing. You are a beautiful lady and I treasure our online friendship.

    Like

  4. Susan December 23, 2011 at 12:45 pm Reply

    I understand. I’ve been a sahm for almost 12 years. And I understand. Thank you for sharing this. In the early years, I didn’t really turn to food but to the internet and caffeine. And I still have a hard time balancing those things to this day. It’s sometimes easier to zone out in front of computer screen with a cup of tea and ignore the daily bickering, crashing, and so on. We’re all in this together. It’s hard, but understanding what you are doing and why is a big big step. I’ll be praying for you, you sweet, lovable, funny lady!

    Like

I *LOVE* to read your comments! Please share your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: