Today is my FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of being married to the most remarkable man ever! This may not seem like a big deal to many – I mean it is “only five years” BUT let me tell you – this is HUGE! Why? Because for once in my life – a relationship is actually GETTING BETTER with time. Now, notice, I did NOT say EASIER. *wink, grin* (Although, honestly, I do think it is getting “easier” too…as we come to know each other better.)
Here are some things I’ve learned over the last five years:
[First, a little background: * I was not raised in a Christian home and I was not raised to be “a wonderful wife and mother”. As a matter of fact, I was raised to be a feminist – and I learned this very well, actually. * My mother has been married, and divorced, five times. * I have been married, and divorced, once. (before I got saved)]
Ok, back to what I have learned (our entire relationship is based off the principals of Scripture, so keep that in mind):
* I consistently think about why the Lord chose to put men and women together – we are SO DIFFERENT! But I have come up with (1) He does it to compliment each other and (2) He does it to strech both people…to stretch them to become more like Himself. WOW! Ok, looking at it from this viewpoint helps me with the stress of the “whys”, this is good!
* LOVE is NOT a feeling…it is a COMMITMENT! I think one of the things that has been just absolutely HUGE in our marriage is that we are both 110% COMMITTED! NO BACKING OUT, EVER! It’s amazing how this changes how one behaves…it gives you confidence, on one hand, to know that the other person isn’t going to walk out but it also changes the way you think long term – live with this or let it go? (Let it go! as the Lord instructs!)
1 Cor 13
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
* Watching my husband, and his parents, in the way they respond to people and situations has been another amazing thing for me! These people don’t “flip out” at the slightest thing, they don’t put each other down (as a matter of fact, they lift each other up! Amazing!), they love you even if you aren’t perfect, they help you out when you need it…the list goes on and on. These may all seem simple or normal – but let me tell you, they are not! – they are NOT what I grew up with. And when it is said that love can change all things – I now know, FOR A FACT, that is true!
My husband is truly a gift from the Lord – although he is far from perfect (aren’t we all?) – he is PERFECT for me, and the Lord knew that! How is he perfect? let me count thy ways: (grin)
* He doesn’t over-react…as a matter of fact, he under-reacts, which can be even more irritating BUT this then allows THE LORD to work in me. THIS IS GOOD! I was raised to fight back…backing down and letting the Lord correct me = WINNER! (This was a big one for some time.)
* He happily eats whatever I make. Again, I was not raised in a home where I was taught to cook and prepare meals, or even eat together as a family. So, I have been trying to learn over the years. He has been so patient and kind.
* He always looks at me with love. Another irritating thing he does. *grin* I’m such a pain, how can he look at me like that? But he does – he looks at me and I KNOW he means it. (Which that alone can only come from the Lord.)
* He never puts down my attempts, at anything. We always laugh at something we heard at a Love & Respect seminar we went to…something about “ready, fire, aim” vs “ready, aim, aim, aim, aim”. He is more one (the later) and I am more the other (the first). I don’t always think things thru completely…I just jump in and “shoot” then readjust the aim and shoot again, repeatedly, until I hit the target. LOL
* He is AMAZING with the boys! The Lord knew I would never have anyone in my life that didn’t treat my son the way he treated me…and I got that in my dh! He has ALWAYS played with him and loved him as if he were his own! (And like he does with his own son that we have now too.)
I was thinking today, as I was driving to work listening to the audio set titled “She Shall be Called Woman” (excellent set, I definately recommend it!) – how different I am today than I was not only 6 years ago (before we moved here) but even back further – to when I first got saved, or to before I got saved. Folks would never recognize me now – and for that I am most thankful. TO THE LORD BE THE GLORY!
To close ~ to my wonderful husband: I LOVE YOU, I thak the Lord for you and Happy Anniversary!